No. You Can’t Cum on My Face. Stop Asking.

facials

Keep Your Cum Off My Face

This question always makes me pause. And I’m pissed that I have to pause. I mean, I’m right in the middle of heated, passionate, wild, wet and sloppy sex and you ask me this dumb shit right here.

Sigh.

Every time I’ve heard this question, I’ve paused and looked at dude like “what the fuck?” And then I answer: No, but you can cum on my ass if you like.

Seriously though…what’s it with the men and their obsession with having their sperm spewed all over a chick’s face?

I’m not a porn star (though I have some porn star moves) yet in recent years dudes have no problem with making this request. They ask, “Can I cum on your face,” as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, not an act reserved for women who get paid to have cum spewed all over the faces for a living.

And it really is a recent phenomenon. When I was younger (will be 30 in January) no one EVER asked this question. Maybe…MAYBE…it might come up if you had been dating a dude for awhile (read years) but in a new relationship or a sex buddy? Not so much.

I chalk this new fervor of man juice spewing on women’s faces to the spread of porn to the mainstream. It seems everyone fancies themselves a mini-porn mogul when names like Jenna Jameson, Cherokee, and Karrine Steffans are household names.

Porn is no longer an underground phenomenon reserved for dirty looking men in seedy establishments and brown paper bags. It’s now everywhere. From your computer to college campuses porn is readily available anytime, anywhere, just a click away and free of charge.

So I guess many young men fancy themselves the next Byron Long…cum shots and all. Unfortunately asking to cum on chick’s face – in the middle of sex no less – is just rude. There’s something particularly degrading about the move – as if being in me wasn’t enough – you have to defile my person as well. You don’t want to jus town me…you want to degrade me…and I’m not having.

Hell, I’m not a prude. I’m down with the pearl necklaces. Add my boobs, ass, belly and back to the list and there are a slew of places readily available for some cum action…just not my face. So, stop asking the question. It’s rude. Degrading and not something you bring up for the first time mid-coitus.

That’s a sex act that requires a conversation ahead of time.

And let’s be real…if I really had any intention of coming into contact with your sperm we wouldn’t be using a condom…now would we?


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3 Comments
  1. Adrienne 9 years ago

    Thank you. Thank you so much for this blog. Yes, it is SUCH a turn off! My boyfriend asks me that mess and I immediately cringe. You would think that if it’s a turn-off for me when he asks, that it would be a bigger turn off for him when I say no, right? So why set yourself up for failure?? I dont get the face-shots either. It’s never sexy. When I watch porn and I see the dude pull out of the girl, I just press “NEXT” cuz I know what he’s about to do. Totally NOT hot. And I can’t help but to think that that shit will mess up your skin (but that’s just me).

    • A Big Butt and a Smile 9 years ago

      I hear it’s good for your skin. lol. But yeah – I just don’t understand why men can’t understand that porn stars get paid for that ish. Regular (and prob the porn stars temselves in their regular lives) don’t want to deal with that. Ick.

  2. Joe Mama 6 years ago

    I don’t see how it’s rude to ask. I see how it’s rude to do it without asking.

    Some of my partners have liked it and some haven’t. You’re not going to find out which is which without asking.

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