So, remember a few months back when I made a request for women to tell their stories of being mistresses, jump offs and other women? Well, after a computer meltdown and a site redesign I can finally get the series up and going. The following is a story that was sent to me, unchanged, except for removing any identifying information. Enjoy!

Stories of Mistresses: Always the Adulteress, Never the Wife

I work overseas and have done so for the last 5 years. For 3 years I lived (cohabitated) with a married man. He told me I was the love of his life. We met at a camp (contractors overseas in Iraq) and ideally it was me that went after him. I wanted a no frills, friends with benefits type of thing. He chose differently. Before I knew it, he moved in my room with me.

During those 3 years, we took 2 vacations together but most of the time we went back to our families when we had time. He told me, and I believe him that he was completely himself with me. That he didn’t have to hide himself from his wife. What was he hiding? He had a temper from hell, and instead of being afraid of him I chose to stand in front of him and argue with him.

He was loud, but he wasn’t abusive. There’s more… but its a long drawn out story. The main thing is I know what I did with him was wrong. But it didn’t stop me. He wasn’t the first, he hasn’t been the last.

I’m still unmarried.

Right now, I’m conflicted with choosing to spend a vacation with my married lover who has a sick wife and no children…he wants kids but she can’t have them… or spending it with my boyfriend that is single and desires no more kids.

My married lover, due our jobs being apart on different camps I don’t see him like I used to. I would’ve never hooked up with my current boyfriend if married lover was still around. Both men have told me they love me. I don’t doubt the love. The worst part thinking about how wrong I am of thinking about having a kid with married lover (he’s 47… his wfie is 58, I’m 34) is the fact that I think he’ll leave his wife for me. I’m kind of glad he’s away from me.

With the boyfriend, he says I talk in my sleep and he asked me about a name I called in my sleep. It was my married lover’s name. He asked me if he was the love of my life. I can’t say he is… the older I get, I wonder did I ever really have a great love that loved me back and I loved him where I think about him constantly? I can’t say I do.

The age I am now, I don’t know if I’ll ever be married or have another child (I had my son who’s 11 out of wedlock…) despite the desires I feel or the wishes I make. I feel jaded in thinking that my path is to be alone. I’m ok with that most of the time.

I never wished to mess with married men. Why do I do it? I think its the fact to me, less risk of rejection? They’re already someone else’s man that I don’t have to take the whole package.

I do know it’s not a win/win situation. It is what it is… adultry, sex outside of marriage and I live in sin continuously.