The Mistress Speaks: When Being a Jumpoff Isn’t Enough

Stories of Mistresses

Stories of Mistresses: When Being a Jumpoff Isn’t Enough

This is the fifth installment of our series The Mistress Speaks. The following is a story that was sent to me, unchanged, except for removing any identifying information. Enjoy!

I Hate being a jumpoff. I did it once for a year for a man that i loved so much. We were together in high school and a couple years in college. We broke up b/c of distance issues. However, we reconnected about 3 years later, and the sparks were still there. But in those 3 years he met another woman, got married, and had a child. So we snuck around for an entire year without ever getting caught.

He would tell me he loved me, and wished he could be with me instead. We would take weekend trips out of town 2x a month, shacking up in hotels and ordering room service. He bought me gifts and the sex was mind-blowing… He made me feel so good. but every time he left to be with his family i would be crushed. The last straw was when i got pregnant by him.

He wanted me to have the baby, but he wasnt gonna leave his wife. Or even tell her for that matter. It was then that I realized that the way i felt when ever he was with his other family was the same way our child would feel. And I couldnt do that to my innocent child. So i made the difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy and terminate our relationship as well. I guess if the female has no feelings for the man shes sneaking around with, then being a jumpoff and getting no strings attatched sex would be great?? I dont know, because ive never been able to do it.

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5 Comments
  1. kay butterfly 12 years ago

    OMG, that’s some core stuff, i see a friend of mine in a situation like that and the guy wants her to have his child but the commitment is to see him once, maybe twice a year? i don’t have heart nor the balls to do that, too much pain involved.
    anyway, i’m reading and loving so keep up the good work

  2. Preston 12 years ago

    Wow. That’s a rough experience to go through. Ultimately it’s great that you cut that man off. Although the getaways were great, he was basically mistreating you the rest of the time…and that’s what would’ve also happened to any children you had together. And your right, that’s not fair to you and inexcusable for a child. Hopefully things are better now…

    Peace & Love,

    –Pres

  3. Single Black Male 12 years ago

    Honestly … this woman’s problem wasn’t being a jump off … it was being a mistress to a married man. In addition he was an ex … there is nothing about this situation that qualifies as a JO.

  4. confusedlover 12 years ago

    I had just had to comment on this post because I am in a situation sort of like this one, minus the pregnancy and the married part. I’ve been involved with a man for three years now who has a girlfriend. He’s been with his girlfriend for about 8 yrs now and she’s the only person he’s ever been with. But we’ve been messing around for a while and he is always telling me how much he loves me and wants to be with her. He is constantly implying to me that he doesn’t want to be with her anymore, yet he won’t leave her because he’s so accustomed to the “routine” of being with her. I know I should leave him alone but I never leave because I keep hoping that one day he’ll leave her. Any advice????


    Leave him. Immediately. What a man says is irrelevant. What he does is the only thing that matters. If he wants to be with you he will leave his girlfriend. Accept nothing less.

  5. confusedlover 12 years ago

    Just making a correction to my first comment. I meant to say that he is always telling me how he loves me and wants to be with ME (not her)

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