Confessions of a Size Queen: Only a Big Penis Will Do

Size Queen: I Like Big Penises


My name is T.S. and I am a size queen.

I like big penises. Really big ones. It’s funny though because I’ve learned that big is relative. I had this conversation with my cousin and a friend of hers and when they said big they meant seven maybe eight inches. When I told them I liked them nine inches or better, the told me I liked to have my uterus rearranged and quickly decided I was a secret masochist who liked a little pain with my sex.

Hmmm…there might be some truth to that.

A little pain never hurt anyone. And there is no pain quite like a large penis entering you for the first time. Something about that full feeling that works so well for me. Now granted, all of the men I have slept with haven’t been big ones. Most are definitely above average, one will forever be known as Mr. Coke Bottle Penis (there is such a thing as too big), one was so small that I’ve seen bigger ones on six-month-olds (no we didn’t have sex, I mean how could we) and one was crooked (never again, those things are dangerous).

But these days. These days I want to have the kind of sex I want to have and one component of that would be to have a nice long, thick penis. One that I could write about and make me wince from making me feel that super delicious pain I enjoy.

So how does one guarantee that the penis she unwraps is the one she’s looking for BEFORE the clothes come off?

You check.


And no I don’t mean you have him whip his penis out (though that works) or have him send you a penis pic (I have a relative who does that), but instead, you audition him before the big show. You have him over for a nice pre-sex make out session. I’m a HUGE fan of old school making out. There is no need for every encounter to end with intercourse. The end all be all doesn’t have to be penis meet vagina. You give cars a test run, you should give potential sexual partners one too.

So, you let him know that sex isn’t happening that night, but a little making out will. If he has a problem with that, then he can stay his ass home. No harm no foul. Should all go well, however, with a few well-placed caresses, you should be able to get a good feel for what he’s working with. And that way n one has to be embarrassed when the clothes come off. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been known to put folk out of my bed for all sort of things, having the wrong size penis is one of them.

So what say you? Are you a size queen? Do you check the goods before hitting the sheets? Or do you have the chocolate mentality, you never know what you’re going to get? Let us know in the comments below. And use the buttons below to share this article and get your friends in on the conversation.


  1. Long John 12 years ago

    By the looks of your pic, you don’t need to be picky about anyone else. If I had to guess, from what I’m looking at from your pic, you are a 6 or 7 at best. Before you say it, I have a big one.

    • A Big Butt and a Smile 12 years ago

      LOL. Really you come to my site to insult me and then tell me how you have a big one? Really? Internet gangsters indeed.

  2. Sophia 12 years ago

    It’s so funny – my boyfriend and I were having this convo on Friday night. At least to the extent that I knew what he was working with before we did the old “lay down roll around.” I’m a big fan of the pre-sex makeout session. That’s good advice for the kiddies and will keep the younger set from having, um, disappointing encounters.

  3. insecure 12 years ago

    It funny you should say this. I am a little insecure about my size. Woman often talk about and man’s size and about how they want a big one. And like you said you would put a man out for being to small. It’s embarrassing. I’m 7 1/2 inches which gets different reactions from different women. I have no idea how I stack up to others though. But of course I don’t let these insecurites surface. No one knows and I make sure I don’t let it show.

    • A Big Butt and a Smile 12 years ago

      MANY women consider 7.5 inches to be HUGE. LOL. So you what are you insecure about? And by any estimation that’s def above average. It’s about personal taste. No worries.

  4. Malik 12 years ago

    Eh, I’d just keep it moving on a size queen. Everyone likes what they like so I can’t be mad at them, I just don’t fit your description. I’d rather not engage in sex that would continually disappoint my partner, and I love sex.

    • A Big Butt and a Smile 12 years ago

      Size queens don’t usually make grand announcements on being “size queens” my post notwithstanding. In general folk won’t set out to hurt anyone’s feelings – that’s the whole point of the pre-sex make out, so no one is surprised (or embarrassed) later.

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