Rihanna’s River Island Collection is a Hot Mess

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Rihanna River Island Collection Totally Misses the Mark

So Rihanna was looking to add another hyphen to her already mutli-hyphened self. Pop-Star – Actress – Quasi-Model and Resident Bad Girl weren’t enough, she thought designer would be a nice fit as well.

And why not?

Celebrities have been killing it with fashion lines ever since Russel Simmons thought putting the words Phat and Farm together on some t-shirts would be a cool idea. However there’s always that celebrity whose foray into another artistic endeavor is a seriously bad idea. Unfortunately for Rihanna, her collaboration with River Island falls into the latter category.    rihanna river island collection 01

I get the appeal of a clothing line for both Rihanna and River Island. Rihanna is like a real live dress up doll. Ever since her stint as the best dressed non-model at Paris’ Fashion Week in 2009, she’s solidified her place as a celebrity fashionista. You look to see what Rihanna is going to wear next, just as much (if not more so) than what her next single is going to be.

Add her fashionista cred to her  status as a bona-fide, world famous pop-star, coupled with River Island’s place as a chic and edgy retailer for today’s modern young woman, and it’s easy to see why both parties saw this as a venture made in cash cow heaven.

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The problem is Rihanna’s style is uniquely Rihanna and doesn’t translate well to the masses. The masses who likely can’t pull off the fierce, modern, sexy, tomboy, borderline-expensive escort chic manages to pull off so effortlessly. Instead River island has delivered trashy, skanky, tomboy, cheap porn star style for the masses to consume in their attempt to dress a little like Rihanna

Not a good look at all.

Outside of the totally trashy look and cheap quality of the clothes – the other big question is where is anyone going to wear any of these pieces. Riahnna is a pop-star. Her job is to make forgettable music, and show up and be photographed at any number of events to promote said forgettable music.

So if Rihanna has three-quarters of her boobs out or has some cheek action happening in a pair of too short shorts, no problem. More Skin = More Pictures = More Pageviews = More Sales or at least More Exposure which will then leads to More Sales. Everyone wins. But regualr everyday, average chick can’t run around too many places with that amount of skin exposure, unless of course her day job is one where More Skin = More Sales…and we’re not talking of the music variety.

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The other pieces that offer more skin coverage are just so unflattering and ugly in their attempt to combine that sexy tomboy essence I can’t see anyone wanting to wear them for any reason other than Rhianna’s name is attached to them. And that’s the funny part about all of this – even though this has got to be one of the worst celebrity fashion lines released in the last ten years it is still likely to be widely successful. Hell some pieces from the line are already sold out on the website.

Final Thoughts

In the end, Rihanna is still Rihanna. She is a global phenom even if her music is about as memorable and interesting as a plain bowl of cold oatmeal. She’s managed to make millions convincing people to shell out their hard earned dollars for her forgettable records and cringe-worthy concerts, there’s no reason why she can’t convince them to shell out those same dollars for cheaply made and equally cringe worthy clothing.

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